Comfort in small things

The week didn't seem to get much better after the last post. I felt better after my workout, but came home and had a talk with C, which turned into a somewhat emotional discussion. We weren't arguing or anything but venting frustrations about the situation and how hard it is - again, being caught in an in-between. Well, C got a little loud, and Dad had to (presumably) get out of bed and come and yell up the stairs at us to check that all was okay. We were as far away as we could have gotten, but we still disturbed him, and obviously he thought we were fighting and wanted to make it all okay - peace-maker style. And then come to find out he didn't sleep at all that night, presumably in part due to worrying about us. It is hard, because of course it is nice that he frets about us, but at the same time, he has to realise that things are really fucking hard for us at the moment, and while we do our best to keep that at bay when we are around him, sometimes we have to explode! C wasn't doing anything to intentionally hurt anyone, just was letting some of it out for the moment, and Dad has to let us do this - explore the realm of our vast feelings, instead of keeping them all in.

So the long run on Saturday was definitely welcomed, and I had a lot on my mind to 'run' through. It as a fantastic day, too - the kind when you are excited to have to run over 1.5 hours because nothing can disturb you then, and you only have the road to contend with. I did a longer one than recently - over 15 miles, and ran via K's house, which is about 1/2 way on my normal route. Then she suggested I do a loop from her house, and she would drive me home, so I got to go on 'unchartered' territory, including the trail on the cliffs off High Drive - it was fabulous! There was heavy fog in the valley, and I was above it in the sunshine, over a sea of fog. Again, I wish I'd had my camera - I should start running with it sometimes.

The rest of the weekend helped chill me out more - went to watch friend C's bball team she coaches, and then went up to the mountain on my own for the night - watched some sports with the family friends, and then skied (hard!) all morning in the glorious sunshine -it was fabulous, just to think, or not think, all on my own. Not to answer to anyone - that is one thing I think I take for granted, my alone time at home, and I am missing it now. Turns out I skied over 15 miles too (I wore my Garmin), which is kinda cool, and a lot more fun than the running. No, I enjoy both in different ways, I am sure!

So now it is a new week, and I am going to keep positive I hope - there were a lot of factors in last week's meltdown, so hopefully it won't all combine for the Perfect Storm of emotion again. Dad is seeming much better after the last couple days too, so maybe we all had a bit of a breaking point. Up and up.