A new year and a new horizon.

The post below was written on New Year's Day and I forgot to post it.  I have felt renewed interest in blogging again, so will try to pick it up.  

Things have been going okay.  I am back into training mode a bit, and I am feeling pretty good about where I am at, with my fitness.  My fitness class twice a week is definitely helping on the strength stuff that I always seem to lack.  I am supposed to run 16 miles this weekend, which will be a big jump from the 12-13 I have been doing just the past couple of weeks.  We will see how it goes.  but it feels good to have a schedule to try to work toward.  

Everything else is going okay.  Just tedious and time-consuming, and going through all of the stuff in the house takes its toll emotionally. But it is okay.  I can't believe dad has been gone over three months now.  So short and so long at the same time.  Just looking back through some of the earliest posts makes me so grateful for all of that precious time we got together.  I am sad that J and I can't keep the house, as my dad had hoped we could, but I am sure he wouldn't want us burdened by anything either - that was not his nature.  I just miss him.  And going through stuff, I find so much of Mom too, so I end up missing them both.  Life is just not fair sometimes, but then is it to fair to anyone?  I hate to complain, when so many have it so much harder.  I just miss having a mom and dad.

This is a quote I put on the amazing panoramic that I had displayed at Dad's memorial that I posted earlier.  The quote just speaks to me.  We now have the picture up at the mountain, where I am closer to Mom and Dad than anywhere else. 
    
Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.

-----
1 Jan 2013

Well it has been ages since I have posted anything at all.  And a lot has happened.  Running, really, has not happened, or it doesn't feel like it has been any good.  After losing Dad in October (three days after the Leavenworth 1/2), it just got knocked down a few notches on the priorities ladder.  It was nice when I could go, for a release, and I went without my watch for a couple of weeks, just so I could allow myself to feel the joy of running without worrying about time.  It did feel good.

Since then I have had good weeks and bad, with running at least.  Things have been pretty demanding, dealing with some of the stuff that comes after.  I have managed to do a handful of harder runs, but now it is icy and snowy, so that gets hard there too.  Not meaning to make excuses, but some of it was sort of out of my control.

Now that the holidays are drawing to a close, I hope that I can get to feeling a bit healthier again - just back into a routine with running and eating, as i have really been feeling pretty gross the last week or two.  I have no idea how this marathon training is going to go, I really am going to try to not get my hopes up too much, for fear of disappointment if I fall short on the time.  We will see, I could surprise myself, but it is better to just go into it having fun and getting fit.  Not sure what DC  will think about that!

J and I have moved into my dad's house now, to try to get it prepped to sell.  There is a lot of work to be done there.  So the other day, I got to go on my old run, through the countryside a bit.  It felt great, really!  I just missed running that route and from there.  It felt very cathartic, as it is such a comforting route to me - it made me think of all of the times over the past couple years when that run allowed me to escape and clear my head.  Not to mention that it is just beautiful.  It felt good.

Being in the house is strange.  I think it will be good, and I am looking forward to it, and to getting it sorted, but it is a bit hard too.  I just miss Dad so much, and it feels empty without him there.  J thinks it still smells like him - I don't smell that but probably because I was so accustomed to it.  The house just misses him, and I miss him.

So today is the first day of a new year.  I am looking forward to it.  It will be a good year, getting married and moving forward.  I am excited to do that with J, and right now, we are at The Bridge - connecting our lives in our old home to hopefully setting us up for our futures in our new home.  Let's begin it!